Parenthood

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none - William Shakespeare 

25 things I want our son and daughter to know:
  1. First and foremost, be a person of honour. Place honesty, integrity, responsibility and fairness above all else. Be the man/woman of your words. 
  2. You both have Javanese, Sundanese, Binjai, Lampung, Palembang, Manado, Chinese, Arabic, Czech, German and English bloodline. At times you might feel that you have no strong cultural identity, but on the contrary, you're a child of the world. Be proud and embrace every single heritage that you have. 
  3. If you love something, set it free. Unless you happens to love a tiger. Then, you know, don't. 
  4. Live passionately, dream big, and don't be afraid to fail. Learn from your mistakes and learn from every single person that you meet. On that last note, find role models from various walks of life and learn a lot from them.
  5. Remember that money isn't everything. You can buy clocks but not time, you can buy beds but not sleep, you can buy medicines but not health, you can buy books but not knowledge, you can buy people but not respect and love. You can buy a lot of things but not happiness. 
  6. If you want to know the true measure of a man, just look at how the way he treats those who are inferior to him. Be the perfect gentleman/lady and treat everyone, from beggars to presidents, with equal respect. 
  7. Read non-fiction books. It's not a coincidence that behind every great people there's an impressive library collection full of knowledge. And for the love of God, never ever learn history from Hollywood movies, they're either historically inaccurate or bias towards their hidden agenda. 
  8. I'm going to apologise in advance for making you take your piano lessons. I hated it. Your uncle hated it. But it is the essential basic for musical intelligence, and music is the soul of life. Learn to enjoy every type of music genders, from Mozart to Manson, from Sinatra to Marley. 
  9. Travel the world. Better yet, go backpacking on a shoestring at least once in your lifetime, and blend in with the locals. You'll learn much more about life than you'll ever do in formal education. 
  10. Your mum always say kindness is something we have to learn in life. Not everyone born into an environment that teaches kindness, sometimes we have to teach them and show them how to be kind. 
  11. There's a thin line between a nice person and an idiot who get fouled at but stay quiet to maintain harmony. Be kind to everyone, but never forget to stand up for yourself. 
  12. If you want to test a relationship or a friendship, go travel with that person for at least 72 hours non stop side-by-side to a completely new place. 
  13. You're a Muslim. Embrace the true religion, practice it peacefully and privately. But remember to learn other religions too and see how they all basically teach the same Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. Read mythology, read Karen Armstrong, visit all the religious sites from Mecca to Vatican to Amritsar to Tibet, participate in as many religious festivals around the globe as possible, have friends from many different religions and be the poster child of tolerance, without having to lose your core identity as a moderate Muslim. 
  14. I don't want any harm to ever done to you both, but the world is chaotic and imperfect, so you will get hurt from time to time. The most important thing is not to pray for danger to never happen, but to be able to recognise any signs leading to danger, how to avoid it, and/or be fully prepared when it inevitably comes. That's the essence of martial arts. And you're going to choose one that you like.  
  15. You can't control how you feel, but you can control how you react to it. If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it change the way you look at it. And in your lifetime everyone at some point will disappoint you, the most important thing is to never be disappointed at yourself. 
  16. If you want to find a good girl or guy, don't go looking for them at dodgy night clubs. If you want to find love, don't waste your time with women or men you know you don't love. And remember, it's better to stay single than being a cheat. Relationship doesn't have to be complicated. 
  17. You'll never really know poverty until you see it first hand, and experience it first hand. Spend time with the poor to gain perspective, and dedicate part of your life to help them in your own way. Be grateful and humble if you have more than enough. 
  18. Remember that eye contact is very important. Unless when you're eating a banana. 
  19. Follow world current affairs. Read news from various different media, read between the lines, connect the dots in the puzzle of knowledge that you have and draw your own conclusion. Always check the media that report the news and whether or not they have a hidden agenda behind it. Never take any news at the face value. 
  20. We live our lives one decision at a time. If you want to have an extraordinary life, make extraordinary decisions. 
  21. True friends are those who stick by you during your lowest points, darkest hours, saddest periods. If you ever in a rock bottom and have people around you who support you, hang on to them. 
  22. I created a twitter account (@KemalSetiadi and @kiranaSetiadi) on the day you were born. It's filled with jokes and shenanigans. Sorry. 
  23. Always dress appropriately. A considerate person is a person who knows the right time and place to wear certain dress code. At a beach? Wear something laid back. At a wedding or a funeral? Dress to pay your respect. You get the gist. 
  24. There's a line of words that I use to catch your mum's heart, and that line is now engraved in our wedding ring. It's a line from a Beatles song: to love is to share. Never ever forget that. 
  25. Always remember that me and your mum love you both very much and both of you will always have us, no matter what happens in life.